There is so much going wrong in the world today…
Instead of peace, there is so much conflict, whether between political parties, or people of different races, or even competing religious beliefs. Instead of mutual understanding and acceptance, there is the proliferation of war and violence.
Instead of wellness and wholeness, we see millions (billions even?) of people suffering and dying either due to lack of sufficient food, or ironically the complete reverse, due to eating too much unhealthy food or even due to the abuse of destructive substances.
In spite of all that’s happening wrong, I have this firm (stubborn) belief that human beings are capable of getting a few ideas right. Like beauty. I would like to think that most people know it when they see it, and will always prefer it over ugliness and the lack of order. Or even courage. Most people are cowards, but we all know a brave person when we see one. We have a deep admiration, even if grudgingly, for a man who stands for what is right even if it costs him his livelihood, his friends, or even his life.
I have always wanted to think that among the few things the world has gotten correctly is ‘love.’
Love is such a celebrated word that when i checked google, it said there are millions of websites that contain that word.
Surveys on Love
There was a survey done more than one year ago that asked people their beliefs regarding love. The survey found out that more than half of Filipinos (55%) believe in love at first sight. Even more interesting is that almost
Unfortunately, I realized how wrong the world appreciates love when I saw a recent SWS survey on Filipino’s definition of love. The survey said that seven out of ten, or roughly, three out of every four Filipinos would rather receive love than give love. It seems to me that only one out of four got the whole idea right.
The survey said that the desire to be loved was seen strongest among those who have been separated/divorced from their spouses, and also to those who have been widowed but have since remarried. They probably had traumatic experiences in their past relationships where they were giving more love than they were getting back. Now, they’d rather receive it from their partner than give.
In other words, for most Filipinos, love is seen as a one way street coming in rather than going out. Just imagine the kind of relationship that would make. Each partner wanting to receive more than they’d give. Each partner aching to get the kind of love and affection they feel they deserve, but holding back from giving the love and affection they should be giving their partner. Both end up angry at the other for not giving what their partners are supposed to give, and frustrated about not getting what they feel they deserve to enjoy.
No wonder a lot of marriages in this country are falling apart, or are simply hanging by a thread.
Information released by the National Statistical Coordination Board (NSCB) stated that in there has been a decreasing trend in marriages among Filipinos from 1980 t0 2000. And whereas in 2000, only 4 couples out of 100 were living-in together, by 2008 this number has risen to 11/100. Then, while only 1 out of 100 couples were separated in 2000, this number has tripled to 3/100 by the year 2008.
So, less and less people are getting married. More and more people are living-in together. And more and more couples are breaking up.
Love, according to the World
All these statistics point to something significant. We may have a wrong definition of love after all.
Love is equated with powerful emotions of desire. That is why every February 14, all the movie houses of the world run chick-flicks galore. Those who can’t afford to pay more than P100 for a movie ticket would just go to a video rental and take out a love story, or even buy 12-in-one DVDs in a cheap mall or in a corner store down the street.
Love is also equated with sex. That is why every February 14, all the motels in whole wide world are having a heyday, with rooms used to capacity, a with even a long line of customers lining up for their turn for a ‘short-time.’ Sales of contraceptives hit the charts during this time. After all, nobody really wants to pay the price of a night of thrills with a lifetime responsibility.
On the contrary…
One of the deepest longings of the heart is to be known deeply, and to be accepted for who we are.
One time, I was having a haircut in our local barber shop. There is this unusually small guy in the shop, probably less than 4 feet tall, who was unusually assertive. And no wonder, because some of the barbers there were were unusually abusive of him as well. Imagine this small guy always being bullied and pushed around. I guess at a certain point in his life he learned it didn’t pay to just take in the abuse. He learned to fight back. And I imagine that all his life he was constantly struggling to be accepted for who he was. Not pitied but accepted.
I know of a beautiful woman as well. As a young woman she was the center of the attention and even the affection of men. In a way I guess, she was entirely conscious that she is looked at as an object of desire. But she faces doubts whether she is truly loved, or simply desired for her physical appearance. Is she merely being desired to be possessed or is she loved to be truly known?
The Story of Eternal Love
The good news is that there is one who truly loves us for who were are. Even if nobody else does. Even if nobody else will.
You see, Jesus knows us. He knows us from the beginning. Even before the world was created, he knew us. He was already thinking of us. We were already in His heart, even before Adam and Eve lived in paradise.
Not only does He know us, he loved us, from the beginning.
Love is a Command
If we will carefully read scriptures, we find that love is command, more than an emotion or feelings of desire.
I’ve heard it said among evangelical circles that love is a ‘choice.’ It is a movement of the will. It is also an ‘action.’ It is not passive nor waits for a right motivation.This is the reason why Christian weddings do not end with suggestions of ‘only when I feel like it,’ but rather, lifetime vows of ‘I do.’
But even this I believe is only only partly correct. There is a more fundamental definition of what love is. I’d rather take it from what Jesus says in scriptures.
Jesus himself confirmed the greatest command to be love. ‘Love the Lord your God will all your heart… soul… mind… strength. The second one is like it. Love your neighbor as yourself.’
Then when Jesus issued a new command to His disciples, he said ‘a new command I give you, love one another, as I have loved you.’ Jesus commands us not to feel an emotion, but to love just like He did, He gave himself to those he loved, even His life. It means sacrificial love. It means love that gives and not thinking of getting. It is indeed an act of the will.
Why did he say that? What’s in it for me? Can one really do something sacrificial without any strong motive or cause? Is it at all possible to give without getting anything back?
If we think about it, we do have a reason for giving ourselves to our brethren, and that is, Jesus has already given us everything! We can afford to give ourselves up, because we’ve already received love in abundance from the spring of eternal love–Jesus himself!
And because Jesus’ love for me is, as one song says, extravagant, my needs are covered. I do not have to worry about anything. So when he commands me to love, I say, “It is a pleasure to love you back, with everything I am!” And “It is a joy to love others,” because I am deeply loved.
It is like my wife commanding me to come home. I willingly obey, not because I have to, but because I myself want to come home to be with her, to be taken care of by her after a long day at work. It is not a duty to come home, but a strong desire.
How are we to love, then?
We must place ourselves in this great love story of God. It is the story of God who from all eternity is the God of love–the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit in perfect love for one another in complete and perfect unity. It is the story of God overflowing in love that he lovingly created the universe as his expression of beauty and order; the created man from his own hands and in His image–man and woman–as an expression of love. It is the story that includes the entry of evil and the fall of man, and yet in love covered fallen man from their shame. It is the story of God who chooses people to be instruments of deliverance–from Noah to Abraham to Joseph, all the way until the coming of Moses and God’s redemption of Israel from the land of Egypt. It is the story of the rise and fall of the nation of Israel, and the righteous yet merciful love of God for His chosen people. It is the story of how God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life. It is our story today, the ongoing story of God mission to proclaim His love among the nations, so that all the nations of the world may come worship Him.
We are part of that story. We have our roles to play. And the single basic motivation, the driving force of our mission, is the love of God in us. And so we live and serve and proclaim the glory of God, as people who are dearly loved.
This is the motivation of the apostle Paul for taking the gospel to the Gentiles. It is the same motivation that prompted Martin Luther to take his stand against the abuses of the Roman church in the 16th century and freed the faithful believers from the burden of works and indulgences and be set free in Christ. It is the same motivation that William Wilberforce in the 18th century had in committing two decades of his life fighting against the slave trade in England and setting the African slaves free from bondage. It is the same motivation that Martin Luther King had in the 1960′s in pressing for changes in American society so that blacks may be given equal treatment as the whites, even at the cost of his life.
This is the same motivation that would empower us today to give up our lives, not only to live holy, prayerful and godly lives, but more than that, to be instruments of God in alleviating the conditions of the poorest of the poor among our Filipino brethren. It is the same motivation that would enable us to take a principled stand against corruption in government and the plundering of the nation’s resources for private gain, against the repeated attempt to frustrate and hijack the will of the electorate through fraud and terrorism, and against the evil forces of society that seek to kill, steal and destroy the life, property and dignity of the Filipino people.
Our expression of love for the world and fellowmen is a foretaste of God’s overflowing love from eternity. Our lives are a glimpse of God’s eternal glory. How we live our lives before others should instrumental in awakening a thirst for God’s love.
This we can do only when we are completely assured of His love, and as we come together in love as brethren to give glory to God by pressing on to restore and set aright the crumbling institutions of our nation, and as we disciple our fellow Filipinos in righteousness and obedience in Christ and in submission to the Kingdom of God.
